Fred and Rita are in the college library. Rita is studying for an exam. Fred is looking at a nature magazine.
Rita: You wanted me to help you with that Maths problem?
Fred: Not looking up from his magazine In a minute. Have a look at these spiders! They’re really scary!
Rita: No way! You know I hate spiders.
Fred: But these are just pictures. They can’t jump out of the magazine and bite you.
Rita: I don’t care. I just don’t want to think about spiders
Fred: What about the one on the floor behind you?
Rita: Jumps up Where?
Fred: It ran under the table. I think it came from that little hole in the floor.
Rita: Still on her feet How big is it?
Fred: Trying not to laugh Pretty big. I wonder where it went?
Rita: Jumps back again I can’t work here with a spider around.
Rita begins packing her things away
Fred: Don’t go, Rita. The spider has gone now. Look, you can’t see him anywhere
Rita: But he could come back.
Fred: No, he won’t. Now, about this Maths problem -
Rita: I can’t stay here with a spider in the room. I’m going to work at home
Fred: Rita! I was only joking – there is no spider! And I need help with this Maths question. Come back!
But it’s too late. Rita has left the room.
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Q: Where can you find a spider's phone number?
Ans: On its website!
The Fred and Rita dialogues first appeared in Ming Pao Daily
Text: © 2012 Kieran McGovern
